


#101 Life is a drink (and Love's a drug)

by baekedaelights, luxnoctre



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Artist Jongdae, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Baekchen - Freeform, Drunk Byun Baekhyun, Fluff, M/M, Tattoos, means Flirty Baekhyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-24 19:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekedaelights/pseuds/baekedaelights, https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxnoctre/pseuds/luxnoctre
Summary: Baekhyun just really wants a tattoo





	#101 Life is a drink (and Love's a drug)

Baekhyun is drunk.

And it’s not the tipsy-but-still-able-to-function type of drunk, no, he’s drunk.

He’s so drunk, that when he asks for one more shot, the bartender stares at him and gives him a glass of water. Baekhyun downs it anyways, too stoned to notice the difference in taste and smoothness. The icy temperature does little to alleviate the haze in his mind, as Baekhyun continues to animatedly chat with his friends, slurring his words and overreacting at the littlest thing. In front of him are four empty shot glasses, the product of a crappy day.

Now granted, Baekhyun understands that it’s most likely not the most responsible (or in the words of his friend Junmyeon, “adult”) decision to get shitfaced on a weekday. (Is Friday a weekday? He’s never sure.) But Baekhyun has just had an absolutely horrendous time at work, and just a shitty day in general. It starts off like all bad days do: a lack of caffeine. Specifically, the cafe running out of the very drink that Baekhyun has been craving since yesterday. (Some rational part of him was curious to how the cafe managed to run out of a drink at ungodly hours in the morning, but the other part of him was too busy screaming in frustration).

Baekhyun likes to think he’s a relatively easy-going person, at least, that’s what his horoscope tells him that morning (Taurus pride), but out of all the times that the universe has to torture him, it has to be on the day that Baekhyun has an uber important presentation. With a whole series of notes and a very aesthetic Powerpoint (he can’t use Google Slides, he’s not a heathen) ready. He’s been preparing for weeks, and the shot of caffeine is the one thing he needed to get him going.

So he heads to work caffeine-less and one short on a nerve. He arrives in his office, and the first thing his boss tells him is that the investors, or that people that Baekhyun has to impress, have arrived early. 

Baekhyun is woefully underprepared for an early meeting, so he fumbles around his desk until he manages to snag his presentation notes. He hurries into the meeting room, plastering on as bright as a smile as a coffee deprived worker can, and starts his presentation. He admits that he feels intimidated by the way the investors seem to stare at him in their tailored suits and too gelled up hair, but he does his best to appear confident. Everything in the presentation seems to run smoothly until suddenly, the projector fizzes out and Baekhyun is left slideless. He tries to laugh off his nervousness, but it comes out more like a goat baying in distress. 

Baekhyun feels like a goat in distress. He’s not an Aries, but the metaphor stands regardless. 

So overall, work was a bit of a mess for Baekhyun. He has no coffee, screwed up during his meeting, and later, somehow manages to jam the printer. The office has multiple printers, but Baekhyun is still left to figure out exactly what went wrong before a poor coworker tries to print their papers.

Spoiler: he doesn’t succeed. And Baekhyun has to run around the office apologizing loudly to whoever wanted to print a blown up photo of Justin Bieber (Baekhyun has intense second hand embarrassment for whoever it is). So naturally, like all stressed adults, Baekhyun immediately calls his friends the moment he steps out of the jail of a work office. 

“Chanyeol? Kyungsoo? Get changed, we’re getting drunk tonight,” Baekhyun deadpans, slamming his car door and driving off. He holds the phone away from him as Kyungsoo rambles on about responsibilities and plans, but Baekhyun grins when Chanyeol takes the phone and agrees to meet him at their usual bar. Baekhyun throws the phone on the shotgun seat, and rolls down the window like a fake Fast and Furious montage. 

When night rolls around, Baekhyun is all dolled up in his leather clothes and puffy bomber. The bar is one of his favorites, a classy place with relatively cheap drinks and good music. He’s already calling the bartender over for a round, when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo sit beside him.

“Tough day?” Chanyeol asks, cracking open a cold beer with a nod of thanks.

“The absolute worst,” Baekhyun responds. Kyungsoo orders a colorful cocktail in lieu of the beer, and pats his back sympathetically. Baekhyun takes the gesture as a cue to delve deep into how horrible his day was, with the support of his friends and a few more shots from the bartender. The alcohol does well to soothe over Baekhyun’s stress and turn him into a loud, energetic puppy like drunk.

And thus, three hours later, Baekhyun is engaged in a passionate conversation over the merits of hedgehogs. 

“I think!” Baekhyun exclaims, slamming his fist onto the counter with a fire in his eyes, passion running through his veins, “Hedgehogs should be legal as pets!” 

“They’re already pets,” Kyungsoo points out in his usual straightforward manner. Out of the trio, it’s obvious that Kyungsoo is the most sober, but even he seems rather tipsy judging by how he’s swaying on his chair. “Just because you don’t have one, doesn’t mean that others don’t either.”

“Then!” Baekhyun waves a finger high in the air, almost taking out Chanyeol’s eye in the process. “Why do people think hedgehogs are dangerous?” As if to emphasize his words, Baekhyun picks up his (empty) glass and attempts to drain it. When he realizes, after a minute, that there is nothing flowing, he sighs dramatically and waves the bartender one more time. The hassled looking worker simply shakes his head and passes over a small glass of water that Baekhyun drains in seconds. 

Some small part of Baekhyun wonders how his liver is faring under the onslaught of drinks, but the rest of him dismisses the thought in favor of hedgehogs. 

“Because they have spiky spiky needles on them, and people are scared of cute things,” Chanyeol decides, one hand pushing up imaginary glasses and the other tapping a random beat on his beer bottle. 

Sober Baekhyun would have agreed with that statement, but totally not sober Baekhyun decides to take a notch further. Ah, the decisions made by drunk Baekhyun are enough to fill a tome and be published as a university textbook called “Why Baekhyun should be kept away from all sorts of alcohol”. 

“Well, I’m not scared of needles!” Baekhyun declares, his fist to his chest like a proud general. That’s a blatant lie and his friends know it.

“Baekhyun, remember when you went to go get your flu shot and you told us that if you died, we could sell off your One Piece collection?” Kyungsoo muses, swirling his fruity cocktail with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“Irrelevant! That was ages ago!”

A footnote about drunk Baekhyun: he can be extremely stubborn and irrational, as quite a few drunk adults are. Actually, scratch that, he’s always stubborn. 

Typical Taurus, as his horoscope would say. 

“That was last month,” Kyungsoo informs him but Baekhyun waves it off. 

“I’m not scared of needles and I’ll prove it to you,” Baekhyun says stoutly. He stands up abruptly, to the shock of his friends, and pumps his fist. “And I know exactly how!” 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo exchange identical looks of confusion right as Baekhyun withdraws his wallet and drops a small stack of bills on the counter.

“Thank you for your generosity,” Baekhyun says with a dazzling smile to the mildly puzzled bartender. He makes a sharp turn (nearly crashing into a chair) until he whips back around with an apologetic smile.

“I almost forgot the tip!” Baekhyun says, rummaging through his wallet for something. He holds it up triumphantly in the air before sliding it across the counter like a secret agreement.

It’s a boba coupon. The bartender raises an eyebrow at a smiling Baekhyun. 

“It only works at certain locations but I think you should get the winter melon tea,” Baekhyun discerns with finger guns and a wink. “Enjoy your night!” He bellows rather loudly before he stumbles from the counter and out of the bar, followed by a chattering Chanyeol and amused Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun manages to only trip once on the curb, humming as he blows hot air on his hands. 

“Where are we going?” Chanyeol asks, his long legs easily carrying him besides his drunk friend. “I don’t want to be arrested so let’s not do anything stupid yet.”

“Yet,” Kyungsoo grumbles knowingly, to which Chanyeol grins sheepishly. Baekhyun pays no attention to them, mumbling under his breath as he looks back and forth at the street. 

“Where is it?” Baekhyun asks to no one in particular. 

“Where is what?” Chanyeol says, leaning in close to his friend. “You have to tell us what you’re doing first, Baek.”

“I’m getting a tattoo!” Baekhyun says, spinning energetically with a big thumbs up. Kyungsoo stares at him flabbergasted while Chanyeol bellows a loud laugh, clutching his stomach. 

“Wh-Why?” Kyungsoo demands, blinking in confusion at his friend. But Baekhyun just gives him a goofy smile, before he’s walking (skipping) down the street. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have no choice to follow his friend as Baekhyun seems to have some sort of destination in mind.

“I know it’s around here,” Baekhyun muses, swerving his head so fast that it looks like he gave himself whiplash. “I passed it so many times, with that one sign.” Baekhyun trails off, mouth slightly ajar as he narrows his eyes. 

“Do you want me to Google it?” Chanyeol asks, already pulling out his phone. The two have known Baekhyun long enough to just go along with his antics.

“No!” Baekhyun responds, throwing a hand in the air. Note number two: Baekhyun is even more dramatic while drunk. “I must complete this quest by myself!” Baekhyun twists his neck to the right and lets out an exaggerated gasp. “And I found it!”

True to his words, across the street is a small but oddly eye pleasing tattoo shop. A flickering neon sign at the front spells out “Inktopia” and little drawings on the window gives the parlor a Tumblr vibe. Baekhyun charges across the street without warning, his finger in the air as if he’s a noble superhero. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are barely able to keep up as Baekhyun sprints to the parlor and promptly runs into the storefront window. 

Baekhyun staggers back, slightly dazed as he shakes his head. Kyungsoo is about to ask if he is okay, but Baekhyun is undeterred from his goal as he throws open the parlor door with a flourish.

“I’ve done it!” Baekhyun proclaims to absolutely no one. His eyes are bright with excitement as he surveys the store, taking in the clean and pretty appearance. It’s like one of those white aesthetic photo sets that people like to use for their Twitter headers (like Baekhyun, he shamelessly will admit it). Numerous drawings of tattoo designs decorate the blue walls and various beds are strewn around the store. Baekhyun grins at the sight, and promptly locks eyes with the only worker inside, a young male with curious eyes and lip curls. 

It’s as if Baekhyun is struck with a bolt of lightning and he’s reduced down to a gaping mess. He stares at the tattooist with eyes filled with adoration and awe. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol peek from behind him to see what has turned their friend into a silent mess.

“Uh, can I help you..?” The worker says and Baekhyun practically swoons. The man’s voice sounds like honey and silk and whatever other descriptions that Baekhyun’s jumbled mind conjures up. It’s like he has tunnel vision, as Baekhyun approaches the worker slowly.

The man analyzed Baekhyun worriedly, as Baekhyun says in an awestruck voice, “Am I in heaven?”

“No..?” The man hesitates, gesturing to the shop around. “You’re in a tattoo parlor.”

“Then why is there such a gorgeous angel in front of me?” Baekhyun asks earnestly. He takes a step closer and the worker flashes a confused and mildly alarmed look over at Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angel?” Footnote number three: Baekhyun has little to no filter and extremely cringe worthy flirt skills when he’s drunk. 

The worker grimaces (rightfully so) as he comments, “I think that pickup line hurt me more.”

“Aw, angel,” Baekhyun pouts with a bright glint in his eyes. “Don’t be so mean, what’s your name?” 

The artist looks apprehensive, but he quietly utters “Jongdae” to Baekhyun’s delight. Baekhyun grins and with one hand, he gestures at himself and with the other, attempts to push back his styled hair like those dramatic movie scenes. 

“I’m Baekhyun,” he says with a flourish, “And I want to get a tattoo to prove that I’m not afraid of needles.” Jongdae stares at him as Baekhyun continues to beam.

“Ok,” Jongdae says slowly, still clearly in disbelief, “You know you can’t get tattooed drunk, right?”

Baekhyun lets out an affronted gasp, shaking his head quickly. “I’m not drunk!” Baekhyun protests but then a sudden wave of nausea hits him and he doubles over, groaning. When he straightens up, he adds a quiet “Ok, maybe I am drunk.” Jongdae nods with an obvious roll of his eyes, but Baekhyun is relentless in his goal. 

“I just want a tattoo,” Baekhyun says, with a killer pout that does nothing to faze Jongdae (at least not externally). “Maybe a flower, or a little puppy dog, or-” Baekhyun suddenly claps his hands, struck with inspiration. He clasps one of Jongdae’s hands with both of his and looks deep into his eyes. Jongdae is slightly unnerved by the sober demeanor around them.

“Can I have a tattoo of your name?” Baekhyun asks, no hint of playfulness in his voice. 

Jongdae recoils back, quickly shaking his head at the idea. “It’s against policy to tattoo drunk people,” Jongdae reprimands him, “And besides, why would you even want a tattoo of someone you just met?” 

“But it’s not just anyone!” Baekhyun begins to flail a hand about as he emphasizes his words. “It’s you! An angel! That means it’ll be a holy tattoo and-” Baekhyun’s eyes flicker mischievously, “I want it on my butt!”

“You want my name, as a tattoo, on your butt,” Jongdae repeats, his eyes wide and judgemental. At Baekhyun’s eager nod, Jongdae blinks once. Twice. And a third time before he’s shaking his head and pushing Baekhyun towards the door. 

“You can’t get a tattoo drunk, so if for whatever reason you still want my name on your butt, you have to come back here in the morning,” Jongdae informs him frankly, managing to steer Baekhyun outside before the other can register what’s happening. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol follow him dutifully outside, and watching Baekhyun flail about like a dazed child at the zoo.

“But angel!” Baekhyun wretches himself around and engulfs a surprised Jongdae into a tight hug, “The morning is so far away!” 

“Rules are rules,” Jongdae says firmly, peeking Baekhyun’s arms off of him. “Like I said, we can talk in the morning when you’re sober.”

“So,” Baekhyun steps back, biting his lips and playing with his fingers. It gives him the appearance of a scolded little boy and Jongdae’s expression softens momentarily. “You’ll be here in the morning?”

“Yup.”

“Waiting for me?”

Jongdae pauses for half a second but reaffirms it. And it’s like Baekhyun’s disappointed mood completely vanishes, as he breaks into a broad smile.

“Ok~ then I’ll see you tomorrow morning, angel!” Baekhyun announces in a singsong voice. He grabs Kyungsoo’s arm and drags them back in the direction of the bar, all the while waving goodbye to a mildly amused Jongdae. 

“See you soon, Jongdae!”

——  
The events from last night weigh heavily on Jongdae’s mind as he opens up the tattoo parlor. He admits, it was a rather nice change from his usual nights filled with other (usually more violent) drunkards or just idleness.

It helps that Baekhyun (if Jongdae remembers correctly) is one of the more attractive people that Jongdae has met.

So as Jongdae is doing his usual store routine (cleaning the tables, sending out sample books and turning on his playlist), he wonders if the cute and flirty man will come back to the shop, as he so eagerly promised last night. He doesn’t have much time to dwell on the idea, since he does have a couple appointments in the morning.

He always enjoys morning jobs, as his customers are usually a little more perky and eager to talk as he inks their tattoos. His coworker arrives a few hours after opening the store, and takes over the rest of the appointments.

So Jongdae is lounging around the store, drinking from his coffee and talking with a customer when the bell above the store door jingles merrily. Jongdae looks up curiously, and smiles crookedly.

A nervous (and considerably more sober) Baekhyun stands in the doorway, looking around with fresh eyes. When he spots Jongdae, he breaks into a little grin.

“So,” Jongdae prompts, leaning forward on the counter as Baekhyun approaches him, “You came.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, a little shyly. It’s a shift from his drunk, flirty self. A shift that Jongdae rather enjoys. “I mean, I did yell at you in the middle of the street, so I figured I might as well come.”

“It’s not because you still want my name tattooed onto your ass?” Jongdae teases, cocking an eyebrow. 

Baekhyun coughs hurriedly, his ears turning a slightest pink. He fiddled with his slender fingers as he glances over at Jongdae with a small smile. “Actually,” Baekhyun starts, “I was wondering if I could get your number instead.” Jongdae smiles and nods, already reaching for his phone in his pocket.

“A smarter choice,” Jongdae remarks, as Baekhyun inputs in his contact information.

“Oh, wait,” Baekhyun says, looking up with wide eyes. “I still want a tattoo though.” 

Jongdae blinks in surprise at him, and Baekhyun just shrugs, mumbling something about pride. But the artist shakes his head with a rueful smile, before gesturing Baekhyun to follow him to a table.

“As long as it’s not my name on your ass, we’re ok.”

“I was drunk!” 

Fin


End file.
